Have you ever worked with a certain person who you just-couldn’t-stand?
A person who, for about a million different reasons: their words, mannerisms, behaviors – EVERYTHING – rubbed you the wrong way?
We’ve all had that one coworker. And what makes matters worse is you have to connect with that person every single day.
Have no fear, there is an answer. A method to the madness, if you will. And if you understand the answer (I wrote more about this in “How to tame the control freak inside”) – and practice it – it will free you of the constant irritation and emotional rollercoaster this pesky coworker brings to your life.
The Secret to Harmony in a Relationship
There are two essential parts of you.
- The Wise Being
The wise being experiences moments of calm and deep acceptance of what is. Also known as being in touch with the heart or soul. The wise being is the mystic within – it always knows what to do. It sits in the quiet background as the chaos of normal, everyday life unfolds.
- The Maniac Mind
This second part of us is often all over the place – a maniac in a chaotic environment. This part of the mind is usually the more active part, because most of us haven’t trained our minds to work for our own good. We’ve never learned the nature of the mind and don’t understand what it was truly designed for.
3 Things You Should Know About Your (And Your Colleague’s) Mind
- Your mind will never allow you to like your colleague
The mind sees problems even when there are none. It cannot accept situations and people as they are. To test this, just listen to conversations around you. Almost every conversation involves blame and judgement of another person’s choices.
- Your mind is relentlessly stubborn
Your mind is a control freak. It wants to dominate your wise self, the inner mystic. It always wants the final say—it wants to win (this is always a popular topic in my workshops.) It’s relentless in convincing you that your happiness is dependent upon your external environment (in this case, your annoying colleague making better choices).
- Your mind is constantly judging.
People, places, things, everything. This judgement can be positive or negative. When it comes to your colleague – because you can’t control him or her – your mind goes to judgement, which makes it feel like it has ‘won’ or that it is safe from the problem – for now.
Three Things You Can Do to Train Your Mind
There ARE things we can do to create peace and harmony within ourselves so that we are not always at odds with the mind.
- Stop letting your mind solve your inner problems.
Stop expecting your mind to tackle your inner world. It is simply a computer that is good at analyzing, synthesizing and task completion, but it is not meant to tend to your inner wounds.
- Observe your mind
One of the best ways to observe your mind is to meditate. You can do this a few times a day for as little as 5 minutes at a time. Observe your thoughts and watch how they try to focus on a problem, which often turns into a full blown dramatic story in mere minutes. Let the thoughts float by on your river of consciousness, but don’t do anything about them. Just watch them. Observe them. Don’t let your mind create an entire narrative based on these thoughts, or create more negative thoughts.
Just let them pass by.
- You don’t have to believe your thoughts
Start seeing your thoughts as an entity outside yourself. Give your negative thoughts a name and face – make it funny. Laugh at yourself, but never become angry with your thoughts.
When you criticize your inner thoughts it leads to more negative thinking. Don’t believe the lies your mind has been trained to believe.
Your thoughts aren’t you. Just release them.
Let Your Inner Mystic Take Control
Your mind may never allow you to like your colleague. But it can be trained to take a back seat to your inner mystic – the wise self.
Take the right steps to embrace this mystic and learn how to train and take control of your mind.
Accept your mind.
Observe your thoughts.
Understand that you are not your thoughts.
Never allow a negative thought to turn into more negative thoughts.
You may find you can happily coexist alongside anyone – including your annoying colleague. You may also find you can better coexist with all the wonderful parts of you.
And don’t forget to get in touch with me to see how I can help your team move from chaos to calm by taking control of your thoughts – and life!”
Keynotes and Trainings available here.
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